We don't need no stinking customer service. We don't do service.

So, the other day I go out to the mailbox and try to open it. Key won't work, so I put a note on it asking the mail PERSON...not the mailman or the mail woman...but the mail person to please advise what I should do. I tell my wife to look out for the mail person so we can get this straight. My wife sees the mail person opening the boxes (we have one of those community box set ups) and tells her that we can't get our box open and there must be something wrong with the lock. The less than courteous mail PERSON advises that if there is anything wrong with the lock, it is out responsibility to get it fixed.

Now, I don't know about you, but I always thought (my bad) that the Unites States Postal boxes belonged to the United States Post Office, not me. Our mail person won't even let you stand there while she is sorting the mail and wait for ours to be put in the box. Nope, you have to stand back 10-15 feet (preferably in your car) and wait until our mail PERSON finishes and then safely and securely locks the community box. DO NOT APPROACH THE MAIL PERSON WHILE THEY ARE SORTING MAIL. THIS MAY VERY WELL BE A FEDERAL CRIME OF SOME NATURE....!!!!!

My question is simply this...if the lock problem is ours to deal with, how am I (an humble, simple United States Citizen) supposed to get into the locked box after I arrange for a locksmith (at my cost) to come out and fix the box that now belongs to me?

If the box is mine...then it seems to me that if I wanted to decorate the front of my box to reflect the changing seasons, I should be free to do so.....I'd be willing to bet that the very thought or suggestion of this would be enough to force my mail PERSON to report me for making some sort of anti-government threat and shipped off to some educational training camp in Siberia......or North Dakota....or some place......

Along those same line...today I take a old pistol of mine to a gun shop for repair. The owner tells me in no uncertain terms that they don't work on pistols...ok, I can accept that but instead of trying to be helpful and suggesting some place to look...he says.... "No one wants to work on some old Saturday night special like that..." First off, this is a $500 pistol and it was made by Colt firearms, not exactly the manufacturer of Saturday night specials. In addition to his caustic comments he ignores me when I ask what exactly does he work on....I have a lot of rifles and shotguns.

So, here is a guy who makes his living working on firearms and manages to hack a potential future customer off on the space of 90 seconds....A new world record.

The United States Post Office spends millions of taxpayer dollars on television commercials and I am certain the gun shop spends bucks on advertising as well, but you'd think they might spend a few dollars on how to perform pleasant customer service.

Oh, by the way....I was using the wrong key for the mail box.