THERE AIN'T NO FREE LUNCH...

 

THERE AIN’T NO FREE……ANYTHING.

 We are all aware of the practice behind the saying…. “Free Lunch”. Back in the old, old days, bars and saloons offered ‘free’ lunches just as long as you bought something to drink. Try mooching off a lunch snack without buying at least one beer and see what would happen. 

Today, it seems as if that concept has escaped a large segment of our society, hasn’t it?

We have huge groups of our population demanding free this and free that…free everything for everyone. Last week I read about a group starting a so-called ‘tenants union’. This was designed for folks who rent apartments to be exempt from paying rent to a landlord if they were members of this union. They consider landlords and property owners to be nasty capitalists.

Consider this issue, if you will. You locate a piece of property, save or borrow enough funds to construct an apartment building and then your tenants decide they do not think it is fair to pay the greedy landlord any monthly rent. How is the going to work? What is my incentive to build and maintain a sizeable investment that produces zero revenue? Am I going to eventually walk away and refuse to have anything further with the property and cut my losses? You bet I am.

Look at New York City, they are in the process of taking possession of private property (apartment buildings) and converting them into condo associations belonging to the tenants. Now, since many of these properties are currently rent-controlled and not producing enough monthly revenue for upgrades and proper maintenance, how will private ownership improve their situation? Will the new owners have access to volume discounts for service and wholesale pricing? Of course not.

New York is also trying discounted supermarkets so people can buy items at very low prices. Supermarkets operate on very small margins of profit to begin with. How long do you think these facilities will last if they continue to lose money each month? Not long unless they are subsidized by the taxpayer. There is a reason there are so called ‘food deserts’. No profit-making entity is going to continue to operate in an environment with low margins and rampant theft. Look at the ‘honor’ restaurants around the country that started off with ‘free’ food for needy people and an expectation of payment by others to support the cause. These have gone out of business after a year or so of struggle.

The socialist idea is that everyone will work for the common cause and be of benefit to everyone, come what may. Free food, housing, school, medical, transportation, utilities, day care for children and on and on.

So, if I work, I get all these benefits, but so does the slob next door who sits home all day in his chair watching tv and drinking beer. No job, not paying any tax for his government assistance.  

So, soon I think to myself that working 8 hours a day, 5 days a week sucks, so I choose to identify with my next-door neighbor and become slob #2.

How long and how many years does it take to change all the working stiffs into slobs? Everything is given to me for free without any need to get out of bed, get dressed and trot off to a job for the next 20 or so years. What’s not to like?

What happens then? What happens when there are more slobs sitting at home than there are folks working and paying taxes? Who produces the revenue needed to keep the lights on and the farmers paid to grow the food for all these unemployed people in the country?

Everyone complains about the cost of housing. Whether it is a rental house or one to be owned. But look at what has caused the rise in these costs. Higher labor costs. Higher costs for materials that require movement by higher labor employees. Demands on employers for better benefits which raise costs for the consumer. Who is going to buy a fast-food burger that costs $24 which is the price needed to justify a $30 per hour employee? No one, that’s who.

I am a history nut. I love great accounts of how strong men and women overcame adversity to succeed in all phases of history. You consider your life tough now because your computer is slow or the coffee was served to you lukewarm. Try cutting down a forest of trees and pulling up the stumps by hand or with an ox or cow so you can plant food to survive the winter. Then take the trees and saw and plane them down to make boards for you to build a house to live in. On top of that try walking some distances just for the water you needed each day.

Remember your grandparents and your great grandparents might have had to actually walk uphill in the snow to get to school each day.

There wasn’t a Starbucks on every corner during World War II. I suppose most of the depression era folks have died off by now, but heard my parents and grandparents talk about the unemployment in the country and how they had folks coming to their doors looking for food. Google up ‘depression’ pies and see what you get. Recipes using the most basic ingredients due to shortages or rationing during the war and the depression. These were difficult time for nearly everyone.

There wasn’t any complaining about the coffee not having enough sugar because there wasn’t any sugar.

Ths country has problems to be certain, but we still have the incentive and gumption to invent, create and produce products and services that benefit us all.

Having the government provide everything to everyone for free destroys capitalistic motivation and economic concepts for those willing to risk their lives and fortunes to try new concepts and ideas.

Margaret Thatcher once said… “The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.”

Well said and a lesson to be learned….remember to go vote.

See you next week…..Peary Perry

 

Lord, Help Me....

 

Lord, help me if I’ve ever have to live by myself.

Having spent a few days these past weeks with some of my bachelor friends I can safely say that this type of life doesn’t seem to be good for them and I’m certain it isn’t for me. I don’t think I would survive for very long in that kind of environment. I need help. I need help all of the time. Not just some of the time.

I might also suggest these bachelor friends of mine need help, lots of help.

First off, let me clarify that these are old guys, not youngsters waiting to be married; all of these guys have been married and married again at some time or another. Their wives either died or left them or perhaps both, I’m not sure. I don’t really want to know either.

The first thing I notice is a lack of personal grooming skills. Most of these fellows have Brillo pads growing from their noses and ears. This stuff really starts to move on you as the years go by. I can almost hear mine getting longer each night. I have several sets of industrial size clippers to weed eat that stuff back to a presentable stage, but it takes time and effort. You can’t just let it grow or it will get away from you in a few short weeks. These men apparently never look at themselves very closely in the mirror. Perhaps their failing eyesight contributes to this issue.

Next is their clothing. They don’t wear pressed stuff. Some of their shirts look like they have slept in them. Not one of them knows how to iron. Wash and wear seems to be the order of the day. Old wash and wear at that. The towels smell musty and I suspect my friend washes them when they get stiff, but not before. . My wife rotates these on a regular basis. Bless her heart, I really do appreciate her. Especially after being around these guys for a day or two.

I spent the night with one of them and opened the refrigerator, this was a mistake. He had some old blue (or moldy) cheese, two partial six packs of beer, three cans of root beer, several carrots, a half-eaten apple and several cartons of milk. He also had some dog food, but no dog. I didn’t ask. There were some takeout food containers which I suspect could be used for a mold growth experiment without any trouble at all. A couple of the milk cartons looked solid and might be in the process of making cheese. Oh, yes, he had a roll of paper towels on the bottom shelf, next to what I think might have been a cabbage at one time. Then again, it might have been a human head, but I don’t think he is a serial killer, or at least I hoped not. Old guys do weird stuff.

A big screen television in every room, with two or three remotes for each set. One for the TV, one for the DVD and last but not least …one for the VHS. He probably has an eight-track player in there somewhere. My friend is like Diogenes …walking around the house always looking for the correct remote. I suggested he buy a universal one that worked all of the units, but he avoids new technology as much as possible unless it’s a new truck, then you can count him all in.

I went to dinner with the old guys group. This is an experience you want to avoid if at all possible. First off, if you must go…try to get to the head of the line to place your order. By the time this group gets finished eliminating the salt, fat, carbs, red meat, sugar, gluten, peanuts, spices of any kind, or non-decaffeinated coffee you are no longer hungry. They cannot place these orders without telling everyone within ten feet about their irritable bowel syndrome or recent colonoscopy.in many cases they want to show off their latest scars to anyone willing to see them.  The waitresses and waiters run to the other side ( some of the customers move to another table as well) of the room when this group starts to sit down.

These guys can manage e-mail but don’t do as good on texting, their fingers are too stiff. I would not be surprised if some of them still use film cameras.  One guy the other night  had a pager on his belt. I bet that industry is dead and gone. How did he get one anyway? I thought they quit making them years ago. Conversation doesn’t focus too much on technology as some of these guys still think their fax is very progressive. Most of the discussions concerned things that happened in the fifties and sixties and stayed there. It was like three hours of a History channel documentary. All we needed was Lawrence Welk and Ed Sullivan to top off the evening. I think I saw Elvis, but I’m not real sure. Several of the guys swore they saw him last week.

I’m being cruel, these are really nice guys and I’m picking on them. I just hope I never fall into this trap and stay there. I like my life and I like having a wife. I suppose they did as well at one time or another, but those days are long gone. They are probably wishing they had someone to fuss at them for leaving the toilet seat up all the time.

I know I’d miss my someone and I bet deep down they do as well. Or perhaps not, as they say…different strokes for different folks…

 

See you next week…Peary Perry

LT. ZORN REPORTS...

 

LT. ZORN REPORTS ….

 

To: Colonel Xerk, Planet Agent Assignment Commander, section4N

Report: Oct, 2016 (Earth time0

Translation code: use Lp#6759

Colonel…as you are aware I have been exiled to this forsaken planet for many years. I feel certain my exile was due to my perceived insult to the Supreme Commanders wife at the annual Galactic Star Ball. Obviously, I cannot recall my statement about the width of her posterior, but it was said as a jest and not intended to be overheard, unfortunately the music stopped just as I whispered the comment. Please convey my apologies to her, again.

As this part of the planet where I am marooned is going into what they refer to as ‘the election cycle’, I thought I would report on the complete madness of these so-called ‘humans’.

To me, none of this makes any sense to me at all. Apparently, it is perfectly acceptable for each and everyone of the persons vying for political office (they are called ‘candidates’) to lie about virtually everything without impunity. The process is called ‘an election’ and these elections are held at all levels of authority in what is called, ‘the government’.

Each and every ‘candidate’ will stand up in a crowd of humans either in person or on their various means of communication and boldly proclaim the following:

If elected, I will:

Reduce crime

Reduce taxes

Spend more money on social programs (this is conflicting with item #2)

Eliminate poverty

Clean up the environment

Stop illegal immigration

Allow foreign people to enter the country

Free medical care for everyone

Reduce excessive profits on businesses

Because we live in a different type of society, it is very confusing for me to understand just how the so-called government actually generates any method of revenue production to actually pay for all of these objectives. I have found that the ‘government’ actually functions as a result of its collection of these ‘taxes’ which are produced by entities known as companies or corporations as well as the citizens themselves. These entities produce products or services for which they receive currency and then are required to send part of their currency earnings to the ‘government’ so they can pay for services and benefits to the members of the society who do not choose to work and earn currency.

I am certain there is a hidden agenda to this concept as it would appear to me that at some point in time all of these citizens would choose to stop working and just be provided for by the ‘government’, who cannot actually generate any of the so-called currency necessary to complete this task.

Since my assignment here some 25 Earth years ago, I have been attempting to discover their hidden secret and just how it works. These humans must be smarter than we have imagined, otherwise they could very easily see for themselves just how unstable their entire plan is and how it is doomed to complete failure within a relative short period of time. They must know more than we think they know. We should not underestimate these beings.

As much as it pains me to say this, I would request to stay here for some additional time before you reassign me to some other black hole in the universe. I would like to observe how these ‘earthlings’ extricate themselves from this potential financial and economic disaster.

I think we should hold off on the proposed invasion of this species until I obtain more information on their secret plan.

These beings must be much smarter than we are giving them credit at this time. Any physical being that can stand up and distort the truth and reality over their means of communication (television, radio, internet, publications) to literally millions of their citizens and still get elected as their authorized leaders must have some nefarious, evil agenda that we cannot conceive of at this time.

We should not rush to judgement on these beings even though they appear to be frail and often silly in their appearances.

Therefore, I shall remain at my assigned post until I have more information to report to you.

Please give my regards to your family and please try again to express my apologies to the Supreme Commander’s wife once more.

Respectfully, your humble and obedient servant,

Lt. Zorn, (agent W4599)