I NEED YOUR HELP

 

I NEED YOUR HELP---

 

Several years ago, our pastor committed suicide. As you might imagine, it was a huge blow to his family as well as to our church. As a result, I wrote an essay about the things I see pastors doing for their church congregations that are not necessarily pastoral responsibilities.

I, for one, do not believe it is the pastor’s job to fix a flat tire for someone in the parking lot of his church if he is somewhat old. I do not think they should be called to a church members house to unplug a toilet. I believe any church would have someone with a plunger to take care of an item such as this. I do not believe the pastor or clergy member should have to take care of dressing, bathing, and feeding of an elderly member unless they just felt compelled to do so. But to be ordered to do so as a part of their job description is beyond the pale, as far as I’m concerned.

As a result of my pastor’s death, I wrote an essay on my feelings about these non-pastoral requests. In July, it was resurrected again by a Christian publication, and I was asked to verify my research sources and to update these as well.

I’m sad to say that in the 10 years since this event, the statistics have not improved very well when it comes to the life of a pastor or clergy member.

Their divorce rate, depression rate, hopelessness and loneliness rate are very much equal to the secular population as well. The percentage of pastors considering leaving their jobs is sad.

Think about it. You are a pastor of a small church in a small town. Who can you complain or share with about some problem that you are carrying? You can’t discuss it with any of your church members. I talked to one pastor who has been in the ministry for over 30 years. I suggested to him that in his time as a pastor, he had seen more dead people than I ever did as a cop in Houston. He agreed, and I asked how this affected him and was there any therapy or counseling for the stress he endured. He said there was now, but it just became available a couple of years ago.

Pastors are humans. They suffer and feel just like you and I do. They have families and need down time. Otherwise, they will suffer burnout and bitterness. Think about this: when do people get married? The rehearsal dinner is usually Friday night and the wedding on Saturday. Funerals usually occur on weekends in order to allow family members to arrive. What days off do pastors get? If there is a Saturday in there, then he has to work. Now, he realizes that is part of his job, but don’t you think he gets weary with it sometimes?

Revisiting these statistics made me think. We have an Alcoholics Anonymous, a Gamblers Anonymous, as well as many others. Why not have one for pastors and clergy?

So, a pastor friend and I created one. We started Pastors Anonymous on Facebook. It is a closed group for pastors and clergy only. It is a safe place for clergy of all denominations to go to and ask for help, advice, and resources from other experienced pastors and clergy. Doctrinal issues such as baptism, women preachers, etc. are not to be discussed. We want this to be a place to discuss industry issues such as addiction or depression or loneliness.

I will be the administrator, not a commentator, since I have never been a pastor.

Being a pastor or clergy member is a hard job and requires commitment and dedication. We need to support them as best as we can. They need us.

Please send this PASTORS ANONYMOUS Facebook page to any active or retired pastor or clergy member you might be acquainted with.

Who knows? We might just be able to help save someone and their family as well.

See you next week….Peary

WAIT UNTIL THIS HAPPENS --

WAIT UNTIL THIS HAPPENS-----

As I’ve stated before, time flies like crazy. One day you’re 60 years old and the next you’re 80 years old. Your mind is still about 12 but your body is well over a 100. You are long past the stage where you would dare to yell out loud… ‘ hey ya’ll, watch this.’

So, my new cellphone arrived yesterday. I think I had my old one for about five or more years. I always dread changing one out since it is generally a pain. However, they have made many improvements since my last update and the transition is much easier now.

The problem that I now face is updating all of my ‘apps’ and the various setting I had gotten comfortable with on my old unit. I know where to find everything. Now, I’m completely lost and having to scurry around to locate the stuff I need for my daily chores.

Like texting, my previous version had a neat little icon of a book indicating the clipboard. That doesn’t exist anymore or if it does, I don’t know where to find it. What I see are little emojis with smiley faces or hands clapping or stars bursting overhead. I don’t need fireworks to wish someone a good morning. This has screwed my entire morning schedule up. To add insult to injury, it is now telling me I am using RCS for texting rather than SMS or MMS. I looked this up to see the difference and I guess I am on the most current one, but it does present challenges.

I also find that I need to adjust several items so I can actually read anything on my phone. First off, I need to adjust the font size that I use. The only that comes with this version is set on a font capable of being read by a 6-year-old child without glasses. I need BIG letters. The keyboard is way too small and needs to be adjusted, in fact it needs to be about double the size it is now. Using a magnifying glass to use your cell phone marks you an old codger and will be sure to elicit a few laughs at the restaurant or mall. I suggest you plan accordingly to avoid situations such as this. If you are in doubt as to what something says in order to read it, I suggest you learn a few phrases of a foreign language. French always sounds very sophisticated and impressive. You must admit that ‘‘Excusez-moi, je n’arrive pas a lire ceci’ sounds much mor elegant than EXCUSE ME, I CAN”T READ THIS, doesn’t it?

One of the most viewed ‘apps’ on our phone is the weather app. We have to check it multiple times per day instead of doing what we did 50 years ago by sticking our heads out the window to check for rain. This app is one of the more crucial ones that needs to be installed asap, why a hurricane could be brewing close by and we might miss it.

Another thing, even though we have a watch on our wrist, it is vitally important that we can read the one that is on the phone in LARGE numbers. We are more secure with the atomic clock time (whatever that is) than the time on the thing we have been carrying around on our bodies for 50 years or more. Thank God we don’t have to wind a watch any longer. Anyone reading this under the ago of 30 may have to ask for an explanation of ‘winding’ a watch.

My final point is this. In the ‘old’ days, new products came with instructions to be read and filed away with your toaster warranty and instructions. Now you have to point your cell phone to a ‘QR’ code, and it will lead you to the nifty 427-page instruction book. This is guaranteed to cause you to take a deep breath while looking for the part about learning to text and will require you to locate some adult beverages.

You may snicker as you read this and think none of this will ever happen to you.

But I warn you, be prepared, it will occur sooner rather than later.  Some of you are still trying to set the clock on your old VCR, aren’t you?

Tune in again next week for more exciting episodes of “Living with the Elderly’.

If you like this or want to comment, please do so.

Subscriptions are free, so sign up today before I change my mind.

Pearyperry@gmail.com

 

 

 

WHY IS IT?

 

WHY IS IT?

Why is that the older we get, the faster time seems to fly by?

When we were children, it seemed that it took forever for our birthdays, Christmas and vacations to come around, didn’t it? Christmas Eve lasted what? 3 days?

Now, I look at the calendar and see that January of this year is almost half over and the Christmas stuff needs to be taken down at least before Valentine’s Day.

I was just getting used to writing the year 2025 when BAM! It’s over and done and now we are into the new year. Where did the time go? It follows that old saying that ‘time is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.”

I am looking back, and I swear, I cannot remember much happening between the ages of 60 and now 83…it went by in such a flash. One minute I was semi-old, then old and the next minute I am elderly. I think your senior discounts start to kick in about the age of 60, but I was so busy I didn’t even realize I had them, now it’s too late. I get more emails and letters for cemeteries and cremation than I do life insurance or sky-diving trips.

Apparently, you aren’t supposed to actually get old. If you will notice on most of the applications you fill out, the highest the age goes is about 65. Try those applications for auto insurance, they tend to stop early. I think when you get into your 80’s they put you into some type of special department that scans you more closely to see if you are an actual living human being that can see and hear a train approaching.

Try finding a new doctor at 80+ years. The paperwork is horrible, they give you 3 pages for your medications (large print) and 3 more pages to list your ailments, also large print.

If you don’t take any medications (I don’t) or have any life-threatening diseases or illnesses (none of those either) they get very suspicious of you. First, they want to know “why are you here?”. When you tell them you want to get a checkup on your general health, they want to know ‘what for’.? When you arrive they look at you with those same kind of looks you get when you want to open your safe deposit box….those “why do you want to do this” looks.

I think they aren’t used to seeing old/elderly/ancient people who are actually in pretty good shape after 80+ years still walking around and talking without drooling. It destroys their systems, how is this possible? We are supposed to be dead by now. What happened to this guy? What was his secret? What does he know that we need to know about? What is he not telling us?

You know I am just pulling your leg. I know what I was doing all of these many years. I do know that they have been eventful and exciting even with the down times and the valleys we all go through from one year to the next. The high points and the mountain tops make it all worthwhile. I wouldn’t change one thing that I’ve done throughout all these years.

Well, maybe one or two things….perhaps three.

See you next week….Peary Perry