"TOO SOON OLD"

 

“TOO SOON OLD….”

 

We’ve all heard that saying…. “ too soon old, too late smart”.

I could be the poster boy for this quotation. It has only taken me some 83+ years to realize some vital thoughts about myself. “too late smart” indeed!

Yesterday, my wife and I drove to Waco, Texas for a doctor’s appointment. No big deal, no problem, just about 50 miles each way. Stopped and had lunch with some friends and came home.

Very peaceful and enjoyable.

I wake up this morning about 5AM and as I am drinking my coffee, I am thinking back about yesterday’s trip. What made it so pleasant?

It dawned on me (“too late smart” again) that I was engaged with my wife of 50+ years in conversations about everything and about nothing. No stress, no agenda, no pressure, just mundane words about everything you could think about and enjoying the day.

So why was this different than any other day?

For #1, I have retired after 68 years of working and #2 I don’t have a lot to worry about. The amazing thing is that it has taken me over a year and a half to come to grips with it and jus roll with the tide.

We don’t have any health issues, which is a major blessing in and of itself and our finances are ok for what we need. I can’t think of a thing I really need.

So, what happened?

Well, I think we (meaning all of us) live with such stress in our lives that we don’t know how to just stop and take a breath and relax. The pressures we put ourselves under with jobs we don’t like or work that seems impossible to produce along with the stress of family and friends’ relationships takes more of our time than we have.

We want to succeed in our work environment. We want our kids to be happy and successful. We want to maintain good, caring relationships with our extended family and our friends. But who has the time and energy for all of the stresses we put upon ourselves? All of us have the same number of hours in a day, don’t we?

But, fear not, Professor Perry is here to give you some words of wisdom for your use (free of charge).

Try and focus your energy on things you can fix and stop worrying or filling up your limited brain space with things beyond your control. You (nor I) can do anything about those folks in Washington D.C. except vote. We can’t do anything about the turmoil in other parts of the world either, can we?

We can be kinder to our neighbors, listen to our kids more and call or visit our old parents. After they are dead, you will regret not having visited more with them. Call someone you haven’t talked to in many months. Try and listen to them and encourage them with your support. Often you will find you are much better off than a lot of others out there which will go a long way towards making you appreciate your life.

In short, accent the positive and eliminate the negative. I think someone wrote a song about that.

Enjoy your time here on planet Earth, don’t wait around until you are too old to hug each other or take a simple road trip together on a sunny day.

The days go much faster the older you get.

See you next week, don’t forget to subscribe….Peary Perry

 

 

 

 

 

I NEED YOUR HELP

 

I NEED YOUR HELP---

 

Several years ago, our pastor committed suicide. As you might imagine, it was a huge blow to his family as well as to our church. As a result, I wrote an essay about the things I see pastors doing for their church congregations that are not necessarily pastoral responsibilities.

I, for one, do not believe it is the pastor’s job to fix a flat tire for someone in the parking lot of his church if he is somewhat old. I do not think they should be called to a church members house to unplug a toilet. I believe any church would have someone with a plunger to take care of an item such as this. I do not believe the pastor or clergy member should have to take care of dressing, bathing, and feeding of an elderly member unless they just felt compelled to do so. But to be ordered to do so as a part of their job description is beyond the pale, as far as I’m concerned.

As a result of my pastor’s death, I wrote an essay on my feelings about these non-pastoral requests. In July, it was resurrected again by a Christian publication, and I was asked to verify my research sources and to update these as well.

I’m sad to say that in the 10 years since this event, the statistics have not improved very well when it comes to the life of a pastor or clergy member.

Their divorce rate, depression rate, hopelessness and loneliness rate are very much equal to the secular population as well. The percentage of pastors considering leaving their jobs is sad.

Think about it. You are a pastor of a small church in a small town. Who can you complain or share with about some problem that you are carrying? You can’t discuss it with any of your church members. I talked to one pastor who has been in the ministry for over 30 years. I suggested to him that in his time as a pastor, he had seen more dead people than I ever did as a cop in Houston. He agreed, and I asked how this affected him and was there any therapy or counseling for the stress he endured. He said there was now, but it just became available a couple of years ago.

Pastors are humans. They suffer and feel just like you and I do. They have families and need down time. Otherwise, they will suffer burnout and bitterness. Think about this: when do people get married? The rehearsal dinner is usually Friday night and the wedding on Saturday. Funerals usually occur on weekends in order to allow family members to arrive. What days off do pastors get? If there is a Saturday in there, then he has to work. Now, he realizes that is part of his job, but don’t you think he gets weary with it sometimes?

Revisiting these statistics made me think. We have an Alcoholics Anonymous, a Gamblers Anonymous, as well as many others. Why not have one for pastors and clergy?

So, a pastor friend and I created one. We started Pastors Anonymous on Facebook. It is a closed group for pastors and clergy only. It is a safe place for clergy of all denominations to go to and ask for help, advice, and resources from other experienced pastors and clergy. Doctrinal issues such as baptism, women preachers, etc. are not to be discussed. We want this to be a place to discuss industry issues such as addiction or depression or loneliness.

I will be the administrator, not a commentator, since I have never been a pastor.

Being a pastor or clergy member is a hard job and requires commitment and dedication. We need to support them as best as we can. They need us.

Please send this PASTORS ANONYMOUS Facebook page to any active or retired pastor or clergy member you might be acquainted with.

Who knows? We might just be able to help save someone and their family as well.

See you next week….Peary

WAIT UNTIL THIS HAPPENS --

WAIT UNTIL THIS HAPPENS-----

As I’ve stated before, time flies like crazy. One day you’re 60 years old and the next you’re 80 years old. Your mind is still about 12 but your body is well over a 100. You are long past the stage where you would dare to yell out loud… ‘ hey ya’ll, watch this.’

So, my new cellphone arrived yesterday. I think I had my old one for about five or more years. I always dread changing one out since it is generally a pain. However, they have made many improvements since my last update and the transition is much easier now.

The problem that I now face is updating all of my ‘apps’ and the various setting I had gotten comfortable with on my old unit. I know where to find everything. Now, I’m completely lost and having to scurry around to locate the stuff I need for my daily chores.

Like texting, my previous version had a neat little icon of a book indicating the clipboard. That doesn’t exist anymore or if it does, I don’t know where to find it. What I see are little emojis with smiley faces or hands clapping or stars bursting overhead. I don’t need fireworks to wish someone a good morning. This has screwed my entire morning schedule up. To add insult to injury, it is now telling me I am using RCS for texting rather than SMS or MMS. I looked this up to see the difference and I guess I am on the most current one, but it does present challenges.

I also find that I need to adjust several items so I can actually read anything on my phone. First off, I need to adjust the font size that I use. The only that comes with this version is set on a font capable of being read by a 6-year-old child without glasses. I need BIG letters. The keyboard is way too small and needs to be adjusted, in fact it needs to be about double the size it is now. Using a magnifying glass to use your cell phone marks you an old codger and will be sure to elicit a few laughs at the restaurant or mall. I suggest you plan accordingly to avoid situations such as this. If you are in doubt as to what something says in order to read it, I suggest you learn a few phrases of a foreign language. French always sounds very sophisticated and impressive. You must admit that ‘‘Excusez-moi, je n’arrive pas a lire ceci’ sounds much mor elegant than EXCUSE ME, I CAN”T READ THIS, doesn’t it?

One of the most viewed ‘apps’ on our phone is the weather app. We have to check it multiple times per day instead of doing what we did 50 years ago by sticking our heads out the window to check for rain. This app is one of the more crucial ones that needs to be installed asap, why a hurricane could be brewing close by and we might miss it.

Another thing, even though we have a watch on our wrist, it is vitally important that we can read the one that is on the phone in LARGE numbers. We are more secure with the atomic clock time (whatever that is) than the time on the thing we have been carrying around on our bodies for 50 years or more. Thank God we don’t have to wind a watch any longer. Anyone reading this under the ago of 30 may have to ask for an explanation of ‘winding’ a watch.

My final point is this. In the ‘old’ days, new products came with instructions to be read and filed away with your toaster warranty and instructions. Now you have to point your cell phone to a ‘QR’ code, and it will lead you to the nifty 427-page instruction book. This is guaranteed to cause you to take a deep breath while looking for the part about learning to text and will require you to locate some adult beverages.

You may snicker as you read this and think none of this will ever happen to you.

But I warn you, be prepared, it will occur sooner rather than later.  Some of you are still trying to set the clock on your old VCR, aren’t you?

Tune in again next week for more exciting episodes of “Living with the Elderly’.

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Pearyperry@gmail.com