FIRST KISS?

 

FIRST KISS?

 

So, the other morning, my wife and I were drinking coffee and somehow got off on the subject of our first kiss. Now, bear with me here, we have been married for 54 years and met 55 years ago, so we aren’t talking about last week here. This was a LONG time ago.

Oddly enough, she couldn’t remember, which was a surprise to me because I though women would always recall something eventful such as this.

I tell young men who are about to get engaged to be sure and record everything about the time you asked her to marry you. Get yourself a little notebook and write down a few of the following:

Time and place, weather, where you were standing or sitting, what you wore, what she wore, how did she wear her hair? How did you wear your hair? Did you have any hair? Did she have any hair? what you ordered if in a restaurant, how was it cooked? Was it gluten free? the waiters name, description of the waiter, where was the waiter from? what you thought of the meal, what kind of music was playing, was it loud? who was the president of the USA, what was the Dow Jones Index number? What flowers were in bloom at this time of the year, was she crying? Why was she not crying? Where you parked your car, did you have a car? Did she have a car? What kind of car? What color were the cars? Did the cars run?

Trust me, your time in writing down a few of these items will be of tremendous benefit to you in the coming years. You will need most, if not all of this information at some point in the future. Pay attention to my next point.

If you do not have this information when the subject comes up, she will make it up and you will lose the discussion. End of the story.

You cannot refute a statement without facts (or evidence) of your own. Because she doesn’t remember any better than you can, she will make statements that you are unable to correct without hard cold facts. It is also very advisable to place a date on your information so you can verify it’s authenticity and not just made up in the last few days.

You might refer to a historical event of some kind that you recall happening on the night you proposed. For example, if you said something along the lines of, ‘oh, yes of course I remember, it was the dinner at your parents house where your Uncle Fred fell asleep at the table and fell face down into the mashed potatoes.”

No one could forget that event unless Uncle Fred did this on a routine basis. In which case you need to tie the event into some super memorable news item that no one would ever forget.

“Godzilla attacks New York City, but is driven away by Batman” is an event you would likely be able to recall, but probably won’t happen. Ever. Again.

No, I’ll leave it up to you to tie your special day into something that won’t ever be forgotten. Use your imagination. Ok?

See you next week….Peary Perry

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BEWARE !!!!

 

BEWARE !!!!!!

 

If you should ever get a notion (as I have) to be creative and make certain food groups of your own for your family, please be advised.

THINK VERY HARD ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO DO.

As you know I am now retired and thus far I have attempted several different food related experiences with a variety of results which I will gladly explain as a public service announcement for which I think I can get a tax deduction this coming year.

Number one, if you are planning on attempting to make any of the following:

Cheese, butter, bread, jam.

I suggest you take my advice and look at the cost of your labor and materials in much the same way you would when buying a boat that you only use 3 times a year when your brother-in-law comes to visit and wants to go fishing for ½ a day. It is not cost efficient.

Cheese- I can buy a block of good cheddar for $5.24. The gallon of whole milk needed for the same amount of cheese costs $7.85. You are already in the hole before you start. Then you need cheesecloth to strain, a cheese press and various and sundry other chemicals to help the process. These various chemicals have a shelf life of about 13 hours from the time they arrive until they expire, and you will need new ones which can only be bought from the Cheese Institute of the World. If you have the milk and your chemicals ready you must start the entire cheese process within about 45 minutes, or everything will automatically go bad, and you must start all over. If you do succeed you will be forced to wait up to 6 months for the cheese to ‘cure’ to see if you did the process correctly.

Thus, I am a no-go person for trying to make cheese again.

Butter-  4 sticks of butter cost us $4.18 and requires nothing other than peeling off the wrapper. On the other hand, a carton of whipped cream costs $5.54 and requires a stand mixer with either a paddle or a whisk and several hours of your time to make the same 4 sticks. I initially used the paddle attachment as the video shows and after one hour switched to the whisk and got a sizeable amount of soft butter which firmed up after being in the refrigerator overnight. It had zero flavor.

Scratch butter from my list.

Jam-a jar of strawberry jam costs $2.62. Enough frozen strawberries to make the same amount costs $3.00 each. I need two bags of it, so my material cost for a product I can buy at $2.62 is $6.00 before any labor is required. I can’t even calculate the cost of the sugar and other stuff.

Needless to say, unless you are the government, this is not a workable effort.

Bread- I have saved the best for last. Do not, I say again do not believe the recipes you get on a hourly basis from some guy in Boise about his ‘fabulous’ bread. He is lying to you and wants you to subscribe to his substack account for only $5.00 a month. He has been making bread for about two weeks. No, use the recipe your grandmother wrote down on the cover of a 1956 Sears and Roebuck Christmas catalog. At this point in time, I am about 0-15 on my bread making efforts. It either doesn’t ‘proof’ right or it’s too dense or the crust didn’t harden or any of about 25 other things. Rye bread at our store is $4.45 a loaf. Bread flour is $5.86 a sack, so you are on the downside right there. But even if the cost of the materials isn’t too much out of whack, there are several other things to consider. You need a Dutch Oven, not a English oven or a French oven. Only one from Holland. Mine says ‘made in China’ but Amazon says it’s Dutch. Who am I to argue with Bezos? Then you must have a banneton basket to proof it properly. I am wondering how native Americans and cave men managed to get their water temperature at precisely 110 degrees, no more no less? Then you have to have a ‘lame’ to cut the bread before baking. A regular knife or razor blade wouldn’t do at all.

If you have the proper equipment and if you hold your mouth just right and if the moon is properly aligned with Venus and your room temperature is not too hot or too cold, you may end up with a pile of dough you can put in the oven.

Trust me, it is less stress and heartache to just buy this stuff at the store. I know, I know you don’t have the mental satisfaction of actually producing something with your bare hands, but it leaves you time to explore other venues.

Like gardening.

I’ll keep you posted.

See you next week… Peary Perry

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"TOO SOON OLD"

 

“TOO SOON OLD….”

 

We’ve all heard that saying…. “ too soon old, too late smart”.

I could be the poster boy for this quotation. It has only taken me some 83+ years to realize some vital thoughts about myself. “too late smart” indeed!

Yesterday, my wife and I drove to Waco, Texas for a doctor’s appointment. No big deal, no problem, just about 50 miles each way. Stopped and had lunch with some friends and came home.

Very peaceful and enjoyable.

I wake up this morning about 5AM and as I am drinking my coffee, I am thinking back about yesterday’s trip. What made it so pleasant?

It dawned on me (“too late smart” again) that I was engaged with my wife of 50+ years in conversations about everything and about nothing. No stress, no agenda, no pressure, just mundane words about everything you could think about and enjoying the day.

So why was this different than any other day?

For #1, I have retired after 68 years of working and #2 I don’t have a lot to worry about. The amazing thing is that it has taken me over a year and a half to come to grips with it and jus roll with the tide.

We don’t have any health issues, which is a major blessing in and of itself and our finances are ok for what we need. I can’t think of a thing I really need.

So, what happened?

Well, I think we (meaning all of us) live with such stress in our lives that we don’t know how to just stop and take a breath and relax. The pressures we put ourselves under with jobs we don’t like or work that seems impossible to produce along with the stress of family and friends’ relationships takes more of our time than we have.

We want to succeed in our work environment. We want our kids to be happy and successful. We want to maintain good, caring relationships with our extended family and our friends. But who has the time and energy for all of the stresses we put upon ourselves? All of us have the same number of hours in a day, don’t we?

But, fear not, Professor Perry is here to give you some words of wisdom for your use (free of charge).

Try and focus your energy on things you can fix and stop worrying or filling up your limited brain space with things beyond your control. You (nor I) can do anything about those folks in Washington D.C. except vote. We can’t do anything about the turmoil in other parts of the world either, can we?

We can be kinder to our neighbors, listen to our kids more and call or visit our old parents. After they are dead, you will regret not having visited more with them. Call someone you haven’t talked to in many months. Try and listen to them and encourage them with your support. Often you will find you are much better off than a lot of others out there which will go a long way towards making you appreciate your life.

In short, accent the positive and eliminate the negative. I think someone wrote a song about that.

Enjoy your time here on planet Earth, don’t wait around until you are too old to hug each other or take a simple road trip together on a sunny day.

The days go much faster the older you get.

See you next week, don’t forget to subscribe….Peary Perry