I THOUGHT I COULD....

 

I THOUGHT I COULD-------

I really thought I could be a substitute teacher at our local high school. I volunteered of my own free will. No pressure or threats from anyone but myself.

Boy was I wrong. I grade myself as a ‘F’ for the day. What was I thinking?

This was in no way shape or form ‘generational gap’. This gap was the Grand Canyon times two.

I was trying to get an idea of the relative ages of their parents, grandparents, and great grandparents, if they had any.

Their grandparents were in their sixties. I think I made my first mistake by stating that I was graduating from high school when their grandparents were being born. This was where it started to go south on me. I don’t think I have ever seen so many high school students with complete looks of shock on their faces at one time.

At this time, they began to look at me as if I were an alien from some distant planet. I am certain they are trying to figure out just how this ancient artifact of a human is still standing, much less trying to converse with us. Perhaps they were afraid I might just die in front of them, and they were asking themselves if they remembered their CPR class.

One of the students asked if I was born before the internet? I popped off and said, ‘I was born before television’. Right then and there I knew I had lost them.

Instead of seeing someone standing in front of them as an ex-military, ex-cop macho type of individual, I think they put me in the category of Tim Conway in the ‘little old fireman’ skits he used to do. I think they were surprised I wasn’t drooling.

Now I am wise enough to know not to try and insert their slang phrases of the day such as 6-7 or others currently popular expressions. But you would think they would give me credit for (1) being alive and breathing and (2) able to converse in complete sentences and answer any questions.

I wasn’t asked any questions other than ‘can I go get a drink of water?’ or ‘can I go to the bathroom?’. Lots of these all day long.

I will say this, they were all clean and as polite as they can be at this age. I just don’t think they have ever had to answer questions or formulate any opinions in front of someone as elderly as me.

The other thing that I noticed is the softness of their voices. This is the first time I have had to use my new hearing aids in a room with twenty-five other highly active people. I turned them up as high as they would go, but that only made matters worse. I heard every pencil drop, chair move and other noises while trying to comprehend what some youngster was trying to say about two feet away. I am getting them retested next month.

Then I will try again.

See you next week…Peary Perry

PASTORS ARE PEOPLE TOO...

 

Contrary to the belief of a lot of church-going folks, pastors are not hired servants.

They are servants, for sure, just as police officers and firefighters and nurses. But they are servants of God and, as such, are here to help each of us to garner a better understanding of how we can glorify God and please him.

The pastor is not there to wait on us. The pastor is not there to unplug our toilet or change our flat tire. The pastor is there to help with our spiritual needs the same as a nurse helps with our medical needs or a police officer with our legal issues.

Pastoral salaries

Pastors have families and need downtime. Our churches must require our pastors and their families to take vacations and time off. They cannot be treated as robots to hop and jump for our pleasure.

Is your congregation aware of the salary being paid to your pastor? Is it enough for the pastor to live on? Is the pastor stressed due to financial worries? If we get stressed over money issues, have we ever thought our pastors might have the same problem as well?

What can we or our church do to help them?

Our churches give millions of dollars annually to various ministries across the globe, but look at that 15-year-old car our pastor is driving around in. What can we do to make driving safer for the pastor and the pastor’s family?

Weddings and funerals

While we are at it, what days off does our pastor have?

Let’s see, weddings usually take place on Saturdays, with rehearsal dinners on Friday nights. Funerals often are on Saturdays, as well. These are scheduled for the convenience of the families, to allow for their family members to travel for the event.

While these might be joyous in the case of weddings or sad in the case of funerals, the pastor may not know the participants and probably doesn’t feel the same emotions as the families, especially if the pastor has lost a day off.

There’s also the matter of paying pastors an honorarium for services rendered. In many cases pastors receive little or nothing for performing weddings and funerals on their days off.

Of course, weddings and funerals are part of any clergy’s duties and responsibilities, but the timing of these events should be considered in relationship to the pastor’s working schedule. Events scheduled outside of normal working hours should be compensated.

Churches could give out a pamphlet explaining how funerals and weddings work and that payments for these services are appreciated, even suggesting customary amounts. At a minimum, a pamphlet can explain the pastor’s responsibilities during weddings and funerals.

At my age, I might die at any time. Do you think it is going to matter to me who presides over my funeral service? I am not going to be there. I don’t care if some associate pastor or someone else takes charge of my service.

Weddings and funerals are significant rituals of our lives, but let’s get real and consider what it takes for a minister to officiate at these events.

The pastor’s family

Our pastor has a family. Our pastor may have kids who go to school, play in sports, perform recitals, have roles in drama programs. They also have birthdays and anniversaries and may be taking care of their own parents.

When our pastors’ daughter stars in a play at school on the night we want our pastor to attend a rehearsal dinner for our daughter’s wedding, how do we think our pastor’s daughter is going to feel? Is she going to be happy or resentful? We know the answer to this.

Is our event so important and so special we couldn’t consider the church providing us with some other staff member to perform our service?

Pastors have the same stresses and problems we do. They can’t complain about their issues. They certainly can’t discuss their issues with members of the church, and they certainly can’t afford to offend their largest “donors” who want them to perform some special function.

In short, they are not free or at liberty to use a truly short word: “No.”

Our church’s largest tither wants the pastor and only the pastor to perform the marriage service for his only daughter on the weekend the pastor had scheduled a trip to Paris for the pastor’s wedding anniversary.

Tickets are paid for, passports secured, hotels booked, and now Mr. Warbucks comes and tells the pastor his daughter must be married on such-and-such date because it has major significance for one reason or another. No other date will do.

What the pastor wants to do and what the pastor feels has to be done probably don’t match.

But that’s not the question. The question is what are we going to do?

Are we going to be inconsiderate Christians demanding things that give rise to resentment, or will we be Christlike and realize our pastor has feelings and needs like all the rest of us?

The choice is ours and ours alone.

Peary Perry is an author and husband, father, grandfather and great-grandfather. To learn more about him, you can visit www.pearyperry.com or email him confidentially at pperry@pearyperry.com. The views expressed in this opinion article are those of the author.

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DOGS MAKE ME ....

 

DOGS MAKE ME A -----

 

Dogs make me a better person. I like people who like dogs as well as we do. I like people who don’t like them also, but maybe just not as much

My first dog was named Penny and she was a mutt. We lived in Odessa Texas, my dad was in the oil field and we left that little dog sitting at the corner as we drove to Houston for my dad’s new job. I can still see her sitting there wagging her tail in hopes I would be home soon. Not going to happen. I never had a dog growing up, but my dad did. He loved Boston Terriers. Meanest little things I ever saw. They were my dad’s dogs, not mine.

From the time I first got married, I have always had a dog. Most of them have been mutts. Just pure old mutts. Several were pure bred, but it seemed as if the mutts knew they had a better life than whatever they had before and were thankful that someone was taking care of them.

Dogs are great teachers. They teach you patience and unconditional love. They don’t care if you come home late because you did come home. They don’t care if you are just driving to the post office 3 blocks away because they can hang their head out the window and it’s an adventure.

Try getting a cat to do that.

Dogs are great therapists as well. They somehow know when you are sick and need comfort. We had a friend come and stay with us for a week or so after his wife died of cancer. Both of our dogs stayed with him the entire time he was here and never left him alone. They could sense that he was sad and grieving.

Our current furry friend is a 100% mutt, part schnauzer and part poodle. I think they call them a ‘Schnoodle”. He is 24 lbs. of love. He is zero trouble and 100% pure fun and family. On Sunday when we are getting ready for church, he knows he isn’t going, and he is perfectly happy and not upset. Now that we are retired, he is our newest child. He fits in and is no trouble for  us. Rescue dogs know they have been rescued. They are very appreciative of being a part of your family, and not living on the street. When he goes too the groomer and the house is empty without him, it is a different feeling than it is when he is here with us.

If you choose to get a dog, bear in mind that you should give some consideration to the type and the conditions in which they will live. Large dogs don’t do well in small apartments. Dogs need exercise so you must have time for them. Dogs cost money, so you must take care of them. They need shots and dental care and lots of other things as well.

Studies have shown that people with pets (dogs and cats) live longer than people without them. Prisons have adopted programs to give inmates a pet to take care of and it has reduced the violence in many instances.

I started off saying that dogs make me a better person. I truthfully believe they improve the quality of our lives. Try adopting one and see for yourself.

See you next week…..Peary Perry

DOGS MAKE ME....

 

DOGS MAKE ME A -----

 

Dogs make me a better person. I like people who like dogs as well as we do. I like people who don’t like them also, but maybe just not as much

My first dog was named Penny and she was a mutt. We lived in Odessa Texas, my dad was in the oil field and we left that little dog sitting at the corner as we drove to Houston for my dad’s new job. I can still see her sitting there wagging her tail in hopes I would be home soon. Not going to happen. I never had a dog growing up, but my dad did. He loved Boston Terriers. Meanest little things I ever saw. They were my dad’s dogs, not mine.

From the time I first got married, I have always had a dog. Most of them have been mutts. Just pure old mutts. Several were pure bred, but it seemed as if the mutts knew they had a better life than whatever they had before and were thankful that someone was taking care of them.

Dogs are great teachers. They teach you patience and unconditional love. They don’t care if you come home late because you did come home. They don’t care if you are just driving to the post office 3 blocks away because they can hang their head out the window and it’s an adventure.

Try getting a cat to do that.

Dogs are great therapists as well. They somehow know when you are sick and need comfort. We had a friend come and stay with us for a week or so after his wife died of cancer. Both of our dogs stayed with him the entire time he was here and never left him alone. They could sense that he was sad and grieving.

Our current furry friend is a 100% mutt, part schnauzer and part poodle. I think they call them a ‘Schnoodle”. He is 24 lbs. of love. He is zero trouble and 100% pure fun and family. On Sunday when we are getting ready for church, he knows he isn’t going, and he is perfectly happy and not upset. Now that we are retired, he is our newest child. He fits in and is no trouble for  us. Rescue dogs know they have been rescued. They are very appreciative of being a part of your family, and not living on the street. When he goes too the groomer and the house is empty without him, it is a different feeling than it is when he is here with us.

If you choose to get a dog, bear in mind that you should give some consideration to the type and the conditions in which they will live. Large dogs don’t do well in small apartments. Dogs need exercise so you must have time for them. Dogs cost money, so you must take care of them. They need shots and dental care and lots of other things as well.

Studies have shown that people with pets (dogs and cats) live longer than people without them. Prisons have adopted programs to give inmates a pet to take care of and it has reduced the violence in many instances.

I started off saying that dogs make me a better person. I truthfully believe they improve the quality of our lives. Try adopting one and see for yourself.

See you next week…..Peary Perry