WAIT UNTIL THIS HAPPENS --

WAIT UNTIL THIS HAPPENS-----

As I’ve stated before, time flies like crazy. One day you’re 60 years old and the next you’re 80 years old. Your mind is still about 12 but your body is well over a 100. You are long past the stage where you would dare to yell out loud… ‘ hey ya’ll, watch this.’

So, my new cellphone arrived yesterday. I think I had my old one for about five or more years. I always dread changing one out since it is generally a pain. However, they have made many improvements since my last update and the transition is much easier now.

The problem that I now face is updating all of my ‘apps’ and the various setting I had gotten comfortable with on my old unit. I know where to find everything. Now, I’m completely lost and having to scurry around to locate the stuff I need for my daily chores.

Like texting, my previous version had a neat little icon of a book indicating the clipboard. That doesn’t exist anymore or if it does, I don’t know where to find it. What I see are little emojis with smiley faces or hands clapping or stars bursting overhead. I don’t need fireworks to wish someone a good morning. This has screwed my entire morning schedule up. To add insult to injury, it is now telling me I am using RCS for texting rather than SMS or MMS. I looked this up to see the difference and I guess I am on the most current one, but it does present challenges.

I also find that I need to adjust several items so I can actually read anything on my phone. First off, I need to adjust the font size that I use. The only that comes with this version is set on a font capable of being read by a 6-year-old child without glasses. I need BIG letters. The keyboard is way too small and needs to be adjusted, in fact it needs to be about double the size it is now. Using a magnifying glass to use your cell phone marks you an old codger and will be sure to elicit a few laughs at the restaurant or mall. I suggest you plan accordingly to avoid situations such as this. If you are in doubt as to what something says in order to read it, I suggest you learn a few phrases of a foreign language. French always sounds very sophisticated and impressive. You must admit that ‘‘Excusez-moi, je n’arrive pas a lire ceci’ sounds much mor elegant than EXCUSE ME, I CAN”T READ THIS, doesn’t it?

One of the most viewed ‘apps’ on our phone is the weather app. We have to check it multiple times per day instead of doing what we did 50 years ago by sticking our heads out the window to check for rain. This app is one of the more crucial ones that needs to be installed asap, why a hurricane could be brewing close by and we might miss it.

Another thing, even though we have a watch on our wrist, it is vitally important that we can read the one that is on the phone in LARGE numbers. We are more secure with the atomic clock time (whatever that is) than the time on the thing we have been carrying around on our bodies for 50 years or more. Thank God we don’t have to wind a watch any longer. Anyone reading this under the ago of 30 may have to ask for an explanation of ‘winding’ a watch.

My final point is this. In the ‘old’ days, new products came with instructions to be read and filed away with your toaster warranty and instructions. Now you have to point your cell phone to a ‘QR’ code, and it will lead you to the nifty 427-page instruction book. This is guaranteed to cause you to take a deep breath while looking for the part about learning to text and will require you to locate some adult beverages.

You may snicker as you read this and think none of this will ever happen to you.

But I warn you, be prepared, it will occur sooner rather than later.  Some of you are still trying to set the clock on your old VCR, aren’t you?

Tune in again next week for more exciting episodes of “Living with the Elderly’.

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Pearyperry@gmail.com